We live hundreds of miles from our closest relatives, which means that my son only sees his grandparents, aunts, uncles and extended family one or two weeks every year. He’s the only grandchild on my husband’s side, and the only one of his generation—which means my husband’s aunts and uncles also lavish him with gifts and attention.

Every time we visit, or every time they visit us, my son receives the royal treatment from the time we arrive until the time we leave. His wishes for food, playmates, outings and more are matched in a moment. I worry that he’s getting spoiled, but console myself that it’s just for a short time. After all, aren’t grandparents supposed to be allowed to give kids junk food and trinkets? They want him to know that he is loved, treasured by them.

However, the longer we stay, the more my son comes to…